Real Dads Speak: Battle With The Bottle

Christo
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Real Dads Speak is an ongoing series of real stories from readers of Dads With Depression. If you wish to contribute then please hit the Contact button above and tell us your story!

“My issues started because I bottled up many issues from a young age and I think basically I decided to place a mask on and show off a facade that was not my true self.

The biggest mistake I realise now is not being yourself. Don’t care about what people think of you, don’t adjust for others. When you do you place stress on your own being and you depress it.

To counteract the facade, I drank.

Heavily.

Almost on average 6 to 8 beers a night.

What this did was lower the facade for a bit and made me feel myself. Made me feel happy about being me.

But what you only realise when you’re right at the bottom of your darkest moment in your existence is that your actions are directly contributing to your mind state.

Depression is a state of mind. It’s not an emotion or a personality. My drinking was driving the depression and if I wanted to keep my kids and family I needed to stop drinking.

Trying to do this involved a mental breakdown that I went though in December were after 1 week sober I disappeared and went gambling and drinking by myself.  When I came home I then got carted off in an ambulance as I threatened to harm myself.

That was the lowest point I got too. Since then I have been trying so hard to stay focused on family and being my true self. It’s not been easy.

I have drank the odd beer however it’s been over 3 month since i drank. I went from over a 6 pack a night to 1 beer in 3 months.

I’m still learning but realised the professionals sometimes don’t have all the answers, if you really want to change. You will simply do it. Talking is good.

Once you realise everyone you meet is struggling with there own existence you realise life is not bad at all and acting like something you’re not is making you sick.

You adjust and accept and life gets good.

But I as much as anyone know how hard it is to be happy.”

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